Modern Magic
by NiceSlytherin
Summary: I know you have all been waiting for one like this... or maybe not. I know I was. Please read this even if you didn't drumroll when you saw this.
1. Chapter 1

So, my family was watching Modern Family, and being the potterhead that I am I came up with this. And of course I own neither Modern Family or Harry Potter. So, enjoy!

**Scene 1:**

_**Starts by gate in LAX**_

_Cameron and Mitchell (holding baby Lily) enter the airport._

Mitchell: So, what do you think of L. A., Lily?

Cam: I hope you like it, you're going to be here for a long time. (to Mitchell) Oh my gosh, this is so exciting! We are now officially parents!

Mitchell: Actually, we've been parents since last week when I signed the final form, but… _(Suddenly Lily's appearance changes completely)_ Oh. My. God. Cam…

_Cam turns and staggers at sight of Lily_

Cam: Please tell me you swapped babies with someone else on the flight… _(Mitchell shakes head nervously, C starts hyperventilating)_

Mitchell: All right, let's just stay calm. Hold Lily for a moment.

_Cam tentatively takes Lily as Mitch pulls out phone and dials Claire._

Claire _(on phone, chopping vegetables)_: Hello?

Mitchell: Hi, I need to talk to you-

Claire: Mitch! Are you back yet? How's Lily? I can't wait to meet her tonight.

Mitchell: Actually, Lily's what I need to talk to you about. _(deep breath)_ … I think she's a metamorphagus.

Claire: Oh God. Are you serious?

Mitchell: Yeah, she just turned blonde a minute ago.

Claire: Okay, then. Is there any way I can help you?

Mitchell: No, I guess not right now. It was just really shocking, you know?

Claire: I can only imagine. So, I'll see you guys here at five?

Mitchell: Yeah, we're heading over as soon as we pick up our luggage. Bye! And- thanks.

Claire _(heard through phone)_: Bye. _(click)_

Mitchell: You okay?

_Cam is clutching Lily, looking a bit petrified._

Cam: Yes

**_Cuts to Dunphy house_**

_Luke enters kitchen where Claire is still cutting vegetables and Alex is sitting at the counter with parchment and a quill._

Claire: Hi, honey! How was school?

Luke: Good. Wait- did Alex get expelled? _(hopeful)_

Alex: It's holiday break, dummy.

Luke: Darn.

Claire: You guys haven't seen each other since Thanksgiving, and these are your first words to each other?

Luke: I just had something in mind for this weekend, I forgot they would be home. Nice to have you back. _(you can tell his heart isn't really into it)_

Alex: Nice to be back, too. Except the wait for the Floo was unbearable. Haley-

_Haley enters_

Haley: What about me, dear sis?

Alex: Nothing.

_Doorbell rings. Claire goes to answer and Jay, Gloria and Manny enter. Gloria holds a container of dessert. Exclamations of greeting._

Claire: The girls just got here an hour ago, it's so great that the whole family can be together.

Jay: Where's my son and his overly dramatic boyfriend?

Claire: coming.

Gloria: And Phil?

Phil _(heard stomping down the stairs)_: Coming! Cause it's only a party when THE PHIL has arrived!

Claire: And where was 'THE PHIL' when I needed help moving the table and all the other things I ended up doing alone?

Phil: ...Getting ready to be the life of- no? okay. Right this way, dear guests, right this way… _(has taken dessert from Gloria)_

**Theme song**


	2. Chapter 2

_Mitchell and Cam stand outside airport with luggage._

Mitchell: Let's go, then.

Cam: One, two- _(He starts to turn, then stops)_ Oh god. We can't apparate with a baby.

_Mitchell facepalms. Cuts to them sitting in their house (you know the whole explaining/interview thing in Modern Family- I don't know how to explain it)_

Mitchell: We were so prepared. Cute baby clothes, mini broomstick, everything.

Cam: And yet we couldn't bring our baby home. Why? (Adopts high, mimicking voice) 'Oh, there's no fireplace at LAX, why don't we just apparate? This is a new suit, anyway, don't want it getting ash all over'

Mitchell: You made the last bit up!

Cam: I could tell you were thinking it.

_Glares_

_**Back to Dunphy house:**_

_Luke and Manny enter from backyard, Manny pinching nose and generally looking beat up._

Claire: (_Deflates, this situation is all too familiar)_ What happened?

Luke: We had some trouble with the Quodpot.

Claire: Wait- who gave you a quodpot?

Jay _(from couch with wine and crackers with Phil)_: Oh, I did.

Claire: what? Dad, those things are dangerous?

Jay: We're wizards. They can handle dangerous. (_Notices Manny finally) _Oh for god's sake, Manny.

Gloria: In Colombia, we didn't tolerate these hazardous sports.

_Everyone stares at her._

Gloria: What? Just because it may not be the safest place, you think we let our children become injured? (_To Manny) _Oh, baby, are you okay?

Manny: I think so

Gloria: Aye, I help you patch your face up. Claire, you can handle the kitchen for a bit?

Claire: Of course. (_In a low voice, as Gloria and Manny leave for bathroom:_) Believe it or not, I can actually cook for the dinner **I **am hosting.

_Phone rings. Claire picks up._

Claire: Are you guys nearly here?... Uh oh, are you sure you don't have any powder on you?... Yes, there is a fireplace there, for stupid wizards like yourself…. All right, I'll send him over. Okay, bye. _(hangs up)_ Mitchell and Cam are going to be late. Phil, honey?

Phil _(mouth full of crackers)_: What?!

Claire: I need you to drive your car to the airport and pick them up.

Phil: Um, okay. I'll head over right now.

Claire (_sarcastically)_: Please.

_Phil leaves but grabs some food for the road._

**So I'm working on _The Power of Atalie_ right now and can't really focus on this, but if you actually have read it, thank you, and please review! Sorry but I'll probably only write this when I'm bored and annoyed with Atalie.**


End file.
